Expect To Receive

I provide daycare in my home and am constantly amazed at toddlers and pre-schoolers who will demand some of whatever you are eating. Even if they just finished eating a full meal that they didn’t offer you one morsel of.

They walk right over, stare at your food, look at you, and then open their mouths. They have no expectations that they won’t receive what they desire. All kids do this. ALL.KIDS.

So the next time you desire or need something act like a kid and walk right up to what you want, check it out, open yourself up, expect to receive it, and then receive.

Expect to receive.

Portion Control

It’s time to clean my palate, refresh my nose, and wash the madness out of my hair. Yes, yes, yall. I’ve been decreasing my intake of political news. I’m a MSNBC addict. Yes I am. But it is better for me to limit my intake. Portion control is the solution.

The daily barrage of news and breaking events spewing from my HD television screen is polluting my spirit and outlook. I had to put a stop to it. I had to also stop sharing the madness via my Facebook posts. Portion control works both ways: intake and sharing.

Sometimes when you’re in the thick of something you don’t see the full buffet of madness you are taking in. So I’m cleaning out my DVR, watching some new shows, going to the movies, trying ne restaurants, and most important finishing my long-way-long-overdue novel.

I’m sleeping better and feeling lighter. Yes, yes yall portion control is the way to go.


Each day do something, anything that moves you forward. I’m not talking about some huge ridiculous move. I’m not talking some Bauce (boss), Black Girl Magic (insert your identification here), I am woman here me roar move. Nah and nope. I’m talking something. I talking anything. I’m talking about sorting and donating your shoes to make room in your closet and life for new shit and blessings. Simple.

Break Out of the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt by Guy Finley


Haven’t we all held a wish at one time or another that the person who hurt us — as he did with that cruel remark or angry action — could know what we felt in that moment of their thoughtlessness? Somehow we just know that if this person could be present in our aching heart he would be more than just “sorry” because he would share our sorrow; and that out of this new order of relationship he could never and would never act so carelessly again.

Yet, for all of this higher self-understanding we think others should possess, we often fail to see our own spiritual poverty — how when we hurt someone with our own callous behavior we are unable to remember how much it hurt us to be on the receiving end of such scalding remarks.

Where is this compassionate understanding when we really need it? How do we forget so quickly to be the kind of person we blame others for not being when they turn on us? To reveal the true nature of this sudden form of spiritual amnesia requires some soul searching of a kind. We must try to see, through our mind’s eye, the workings of our own psychology in these moments where someone hurts us. To begin with, let’s collect a few honest facts about what is taking place on our side of the duel that characterizes any unpleasant encounter with someone else.

First we need to acknowledge that when someone acts thoughtlessly towards us, it is a similar thoughtlessness in us that responds. In other words, our own hostile reactions take no thought for anything outside of what they call into account for their suddenly heated existence — so that the only awareness we possess in these times is that low level of cognizance that possesses us, making us “entitled” to attack back! And with our own aching heart or pounding thoughts providing the fuel, we lash out! After all, it is our “right” to set the record straight.

But in these moments, if we could learn to step back from ourselves — to see and to be aware of ourselves as being but a cog in this ever-turning wheel of hurting and being hurt — there would follow a great and liberating self-revelation. We would see, clearly, that before we rise up and attempt to hurt someone who has hurt us, it is we who hold this hurt first. And if we realize the dynamic exposed here — how one hurt always gives rise to another one — then we should also be able to see that each of us is always the first to hold this unwanted pain.

Once we come aware to the fact that when we hate, we feel this hatred first in ourselves, our relationship with this darkness is done. The whole issue becomes as simple as this:

Hatred hurts us, not the person we blame for it. @guy_finley (Click to Tweet!)

To hold a wish to punish someone begins with the unconscious embrace of the very pain we wish to inflict. And with every pain the reactionary self hurls back at its adversary, all it does is condemn itself to continue cycling through the level of ignorance that produces this pain to begin with. So, with each blow this unconscious nature delivers, it just creates for itself the need for the next set of blows.

Let it stop now. From this moment forward, let it stop with you. Make it your intention to forever quit yourself from the turning of this invisible wheel-of-woe.

Each time we will consciously refuse to strike back in anger or act out some aggression toward the one who hurts us, we sow the seed of a new order of a conscious life. Now instead of being used by dark forces that grow at the expense of our soul’s development, it is we who use our endless differences with others to grow endlessly. And at the same time that we learn to rise above the pain of our own negative reactions, we create the possibility and opportunity for others around us to do the same.