Monthly Archives: August 2016

10 Way to Move Through Your Subconscious Fears

What are you so afraid of?

Pain, change, growth…

Fear can be problematic when you let it overwhelm you. When you allow fear to sit in the driver’s seat you are living in the false belief that you are avoiding the inevitable discomfort that comes with journeying into the unknown realms of your heart and soul. But, there can only be one outcome: your life comes to a screeching halt.

If you want to thrive, then stagnancy must go. Prana (life force energy) is the nature of who we are. It embodies movement, creativity, expansion, and evolution.

It’s easy to let fear paralyze you, but you can be empowered to consciously recognize the fear and then lean into experiencing what’s underneath it.

Fearlessness is a combination of vulnerability and courage. You need to have the vulnerability to ask for help and the courage to create a strategy and take action.

Here are ten ways to eliminate the subconscious veil of fear that stops you from taking action in your life…

  1. Identify your comfort zone

What is it that makes you uncomfortable? Write the details down. Maybe it’s an empty bank account, your partner leaving you, making new friends, or never finding your purpose. The first step to overcoming these fears is to label them. Turn on the light and discover where your comfort zones are in life and where pushing against those barriers sends you into fits of fear, anxiety, or panic.

  1. Take action

Worry. Anxiety. Sleepless nights. For every one of your comfort zones, figure out simple ways for you to push beyond your limits. It may feel strange at first, but you’re exercising your ability to create the life of your dreams.

If you’re uncomfortable making friends, yet you want to have friends, something’s gotta give. Take action even in a small way by committing to saying hi to three people every day or joining a group of like-minded people. No action is too small or large, as long as you can commit.

  1. Implement consistency, commitment, and repetition

Those action items aren’t going to get done themselves. You’ve got to get up each day and recommit — keep going, keep growing, and keep moving forward — or you won’t move out of the fear. Once you’ve taken action and seen the fruits of your labour, you’ll see how easily subconscious fears can be taken out with a bit of consistent effort.

  1. Cultivate curiosity

Can you sit down, close your eyes, and imagine what it would feel like to be fearless? To overcome the setbacks you’ve created for yourself? What would life look like for you? If you can imagine even 1/10th of what’s possible you can start to challenge your self-created boundaries and limitations.

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Use your curiosity to imagine the endless possibilities just beyond the border of fear. Whether it’s driving cross country or bungee jumping, this is the beginning of manifesting the most fearless version of yourself.

  1. Get an accountability partner

Here’s the thing: we all have fears that we’ve overcome. Find someone you trust who’s willing to help you remain accountable in facing your subconscious fears. Try to make it someone who’s already conquered the fear you’re trying to transform. Set up daily or weekly calls. Be fully transparent about your successes and your shortfalls. Find strength in numbers and surround yourself with those who can hold the higher vision and greater vibration for you on your journey from fear to courage.

  1. Develop a spiritual connection

What nourishes your soul? What gives you strength? Connect with the spiritual elements of yourself that motivate you to overcome the fear that’s holding you back from living your purpose. Whether it’s sitting in stillness and focusing on the breath for a few minutes each day or practicing yoga, find the practice that allows you to connect with the highest version of your authentic self. Then activate the energy of possibility to support these next phases of your growth and evolution.

  1. Practice gratitude

Gratitude is called a practice because, for most of us, it’s not second nature, especially when you’re in a fear-based mindset. When you’re consumed by fear, the first inclination is to slink back and think of everything that’s going wrong. The expansive energy of gratitude will help you break out of the mental patterning of feeling stuck, victimized, and too disempowered to act.

  1. Surround yourself with bravery

When you’re ready to transmute fear and change it into strength you need to have courage. To cultivate courage, surround yourself with people who have looked fear in the face and moved forward anyway.

Get a mentor who’s already faced the challenges you’re facing. Surround yourself with brilliant people who have a knowledge base greater than yours. This is what I call tapping into vibrational blueprints. Watch documentaries, read books, take courses. Infuse yourself with inspiration. Take action and remain steadfast in overcoming your subconscious fears.

To play a bigger game you have to surround yourself with energy that exceeds yours.

  1. Be honest with yourself about what scares you

Most people don’t want to admit what they’re truly afraid of. Most of us are more afraid of fulfillment, true love, and happiness than anything else. Get quiet and tap into the truth of your greatest fears… and take the first small step. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of all the best that life has to offer.

  1. Stop making excuses

You deserve to overcome your fears and feel at peace. You can train yourself to move forward, to move into alignment with your evolutionary potential on every level, but no more excuses. No more “tomorrow,” no more “when I have time or money.” Start where you’re at in any way you can.


Speak Your Truth

Always speak your truth. There will be some who want to silence you. And others will try to change you. Remember: It is not your job to choke in order to make them comfortable.

Ways to make you feel comfortable: 1- You can modulate your level of truth with different folks because everyone cannot be afforded the same level.  Just not possible. 2-You can cut, cauterize, and heal. IMHO

You get to decide how you will respond but never silence your truth.

Your truth your choice.

Keep on rising to the top.





Making Your Dreams Come True

Single Mom Goes From American Hustle To Living Her Dreams in Abu Dhabi

Author: Tenille Livingston – Motivational Speaker & Writer

How far would you go to live the life of your dreams? Tanai Benard a school teacher and single mother of three children ages 5,6 and 8 made a decision that ultimately changed their lives forever. In 2013, Tanai’s marriage was in shambles and at the time her then husband agreed that they were in need of a change. Tanai figured that moving to another country would be the best thing for the family of five, yet she soon learned that her then-husband had other plans.


While packing and getting ready for their new journey in the UAE she received a call from her husband who worked offshore, saying “I am just going to stay aboard the ship and ride it out.” As you can imagine Tanai was devastated as her plans for her family took a turn for the worse. She had to now accept her husband’s decision and began their new journey without her husband by her side. There were other devastating surprises along the way, but that didn’t stop Tanai from moving forward with her life and starting over as they boarded a plane four deep.



When Tanai finally shared the move with her family their first response was “Where is that?” No one in her family knew exactly where Abu Dhabi was located on the map. Her family was supportive about her move, but she had yet to share the news about the big move with her mother and father while making her family swear to secrecy. After going through the interview process and accepting the teaching position Tanai made the final decision to move her now family of four to the UAE.


Now comes the hard part, it was now time to share her final decision with her parents. Though she was prepared to persuade her mother about the move she surprisingly enough gave her daughter her blessing. Her father, on the other hand, said, “Why are you taking my babies over there with them terrorists?” Her dad’s reaction was to be expected. Though her dad had stated, “I will NEVER visit!” Tanai recently with much persuasion convinced her father to come and visit with her and the children in August of this year.


Since their move to the UAE, the kids by amazement have grown and matured beautifully. After dealing with the reality of their parents’ divorce they are excelling and currently attend an American curriculum private school where they are learning Arabic and French. All three children maintain an A or A/B average. The children now get the opportunity to be a part of extracurricular activities and interact with other children from all over the world.


There are many single mothers across the country with big dreams, yet many fail to step out on faith and make their dreams a reality. As I read Tanai’s amazing testimony of faith, it brought me to tears and encouraged me on my journey. I soon wanted to pick up the phone and encourage her, so I reached out to her via social media and we spoke.



After learning more about her story and how she overcame the many obstacles in her life, I couldn’t wait to share her story with HuffPost readers all over the world. Even with all odds against her she never gave up while fearlessly going after the life she wanted.

Today, traveling is a new hobby for Tanai and her three children. It is now her personal goal to ensure that her children get a chance to experience new adventures every 100 to 130 days. The life in which Tanai’s three children are living is a dream for many mothers all over the world, but a dream in which Tanai has proven can become a reality if you have the faith to believe and take the necessary steps towards your dreams.


The decision that Tanai Benard made in 2013 has awarded her family opportunities which in the past she would have only imagined. Many teachers in the United States are far from living the American dream and underpaid while living paycheck to paycheck. This experience has not only changed her life but has given her a whole new outlook on the American Dream.

Tanai struggled while living in the U.S. from paycheck to paycheck. Prior to her move, she was an engineering student with a full course load while working full time with three children. She can recall being on almost every government assistance program available. Life is good in Abu Dhabi, and they don’t have the same concerns. Many women around the world can relate to her story of perseverance.


Who would have thought that a single mother of three who once lived in the projects in Southeast Texas would one day live the life of her dreams in a faraway land? It is her faith and great determination that leads to endless possibilities. I dedicate this post to all women, of all races, professional backgrounds and religious beliefs that have faced adversity.




Let the Shoulds Go

How to Avoid Becoming a Slave to the SHOULDS in Your Life

How to Avoid Becoming a Slave to the SHOULDS in Your Life

Do you live with a perpetual laundry list of SHOULDS?

You know the list:

– I SHOULD take my kids to a museum every weekend.
– I SHOULD visit my aging mother at least twice a week.
– I SHOULD clean out the garage, bathe the dogs, do my daughter’s hair, clean the microwave, take Jimmy to soccer practice, pick up my husband’s dry-cleaning, bake cupcakes for Susie’s Easter party…


SHOULDS are exhausting. You know what else? SHOULDS are never-ending. They’re also crippling when you allow them to engulf your entire existence.

You probably know this not only from your own experience, but from watching your parents or caretakers become slaves to the SHOULDS in their lives. Overworking themselves to the bone just so the world around them was all taken care of. Trying to avoid the shame and guilt they felt when they said “no” to the SHOULDS that overwhelmed them?

But who took care of them?
And more importantly, who took care of YOU?
Who takes care of you now?

When giving to others starts to cripple your happiness and joy, you receive signals from your body that you’re doing too much. It can manifest as irritability, sadness, loneliness, unexplained anger, and more.

Where once your reserves of happiness overflowed, you find that the pump has run dry, and everyone else has had a drink but you. That emptiness in your gut doesn’t feel like you because everything that makes you YOU has been depleted.

Your energy is sacred, dear. Oh-so-sacred. Not honoring your needs can lead you down a path of negative self-talk, depression, and countless other ailments. That’s why SELF-CARE is incredibly important.

How to lean into SELF-CARE to avoid the SHOULDS, and make it a part of your healing TODAY!


Create a list of three ACTIONS you can take to show yourself some love and care. For example, I love, love, love doing a skin care regimen every morning. It’s an act that allows me to show myself the type of care that brings me peace and joy. It’s all about me and MY NEEDS, which is perfectly okay. Maybe you love dancing, gardening, taking walks in the park. Whatever it is that makes your heart thump with happiness, write it down!


If you feel something, it’s real. If it’s real, it deserves your time and attention. Honor your feelings, even when they don’t include happiness and joy. Your sadness, your anger, your frustration? They all deserve to be acknowledged. In doing so, you give yourself the space to be fully present in your being; and when you take away the judgment and shame, greeting your feelings gives them the freedom to visit, and then peacefully exit. Because here’s the truth: they won’t stop knocking until you’ve opened the door. So give them a glass a water, ask them to have a seat, listen to them, make them feel better, and then thank them for their visit. Your feelings are important!


Your body is your greatest tool for healing. It’s this wonderful machine that sends you messages about what the heck is going down with your emotions. If you feel extremely tired, irritable, grumpy, or short-tempered, your body’s SOUNDING THE ALARMS. Listen to it. Your body is your guide, and it’s like a child. If a child were cranky, wouldn’t you give it a nap? Withholding what your body, mind, and spirit need is cruel. We’re not being cruel with ourselves anymore, are we? Nope, we are LOVING the heck out of ourselves!


You are not the captain of others’ emotional ships. You cannot control how they feel, how they felt in the past, or how they will feel in the future. You cannot control if they’ll like your or not. All you can control is who and what you allow into your life. So why not only allow things that make you feel good?

Nowhere in the book of life does it say that we are required to say “yes” to every request, invitation, or favor that comes our way.

Saying “no” is not a crime, and you are NOT a criminal.

What is a crime is not loving and caring for yourself? So make “no” your very best friend when asked to do something you really don’t want to do. You have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else.


That nagging inner voice that criticizes you every time you don’t fulfill a SHOULD? That voice is a big MEANIE. You might call it your pride, your guilt, your shame, but ultimately you have the power to control what it says. Pretty cool, huh? That voice wants to keep you self-sacrificing and drowning. But you can replace that critic with a kind voice instead. Approach yourself with love every time you catch your critic.

Turn “You’re such a terrible daughter for not dropping everything to help your mom!” to “My dear, you are doing the very best you can. You’re a wonderful daughter, but today you have to feed your own soul, and that’s okay.” Doesn’t that just feel so nice?! Try it out, you’ll start to re-condition your thought patterns in no time!


You are NOT everyone’s superhero. You didn’t sign up for that, and no one around you should expect that from you. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: it takes a village. Not only to raise a child, but keep a community sane! We are all here to love and support one another, so when the going gets rough, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Your pride might keep you from asking, but imagine that child again. If a child asked you for help, would you turn him or her away? Why should it be any different for you?

Be kind to yourselves, my loves. These changes take time. You won’t accomplish them overnight, but with patience and practice, you’ll establish a self-care routine that elevates your joy and wellbeing.