Category Archives: Change

Feeling Safe at Home During Times of Uncertainty and Change

Feeling safe at home is important, especially during times of uncertainty and seasonal change. Strengthening our soul connection to our home may not be easy, but can be done. How?

Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever your views, an uncertain world can impact you, too.

Feeling safe in an unsafe world

Political and social uncertainty can lead to heightened emotions of fear, panic, vulnerability, anger, hatred, hysteria and more. These emotions eat away at our energies and in themselves carry negative energy, which can cause depression and anxiety. Often we are left extra alert and unbalanced.

Feeling safe when seasonal change is happening

Changes in the seasons can also impact us in many ways:

  • Socially, because of a change in activities.
  • Relationally, because we may spend more or less time at home with relatives and friends, which can cause friction.
  • Physically because of a change in diet, room temperature, more flu bugs etc going around, which can impact our general health, weight, skin, digestion and more.
  • Financially with higher seasonal expenses.
  • Emotionally, if we are affected by SAD (seasonal affective disorder), seasonal (including summer) depression, conflict in the home, loneliness, boredom, general dissatisfaction.

Feeling safe at home

When the prospect of spending more time at home during the dark and cold season is daunting, it is important to do something about it.

Could this be an opportunity for some positive changes at home?

Depending on your circumstances you may think this is wishful thinking and impossible to achieve. You may not feel well and have financial, physical, or emotional challenges in your life. Everything is just too much and too daunting.

Indeed, you may not feel safe or have no positive connection to our own home – the location and environment, the neighbours, the people you live with, loneliness at home, history and memories, or just the feeling of too much or too little space.

Nevertheless, and especially then, is it important for us and our home to feel part of and not separate from a greater context of life: especially the seasons, nature and life around us.

At a time of great vulnerability it may not be easy to step up and beyond our fear, grief, frustration and anger:

  • Our bodies and our homes may not feel safe and welcoming at all.
  • Not feeling safe at home can unsettle us in our ‘self’ down to ‘the core’, which some call  ‘soul’.
  • We may feel ‘homeless’ in our own home.
  • We may lose the soul connection to our home and to our self.


At such times we have to make a conscious effort to reclaim our home and our self, in our mind and in our heart.

What can you do to feel safer at home?

We all are connected at any given time to a world and life that is beyond our own immediate circumstances. To connect with that reality can make us feel stronger.

Reclaiming your home (c)

A few rituals and mindful changes in your home may help you reclaim, strengthen, and hold onto a connection between yourself and your home.

The following suggestions are just some examples and you may be inspired to come up with your own ideas, that fit in with your mood, reality, and lifestyle. Feeling safe at home is individual and unique to you.

  • Cleanse your home physically. We do spring cleaning and clearing out. Why not do the same to let go of the old and welcome the new season?
  • Cleanse your home spiritually. This can be done in many ways, depending on your preferences and beliefs with prayer, affirmations, sounds, dance, burning of incense and so much more.
  • Create a place of light, ideally a light that is left on all day and night (like a battery powered tea light which is safe and comparatively cheap). The light is symbolic of the connection of life between you and your home. The light welcomes you home and stays behind when you leave. It is a predictable constant.
  • Decorate at least one corner of your home with some seasonal offerings from nature. It does not need to be anything grand or expensive – a cone, a leaf, a branch, a chestnut etc. You can combine this with the light and again reinforce your sense of connection to nature, the seasons, life around and beyond you.
  • Welcome yourself and your troubled soul into your home. When we feel overwhelmed we need more space and less clutter.

Be in tune with the changing seasons

As you re-tune and recharge your home to the season and make it a welcoming space also pay attention to re-tuning yourself to the season when you are outdoors: noticing the colours, air, smells, temperatures and sounds.

We are absorbing stimuli and energy all of the time, some more or less helpful, some very toxic, some nurturing and healing. By recharging yourself you will automatically recharge the place you live in.

When others are not supportive

Depending on your living arrangements you may feel this all difficult to achieve. Especially, if others frown upon these suggestions.

These home coming rituals can be discreet, very personal and subtle. Your attitude and open heart matters more than gestures.

To keep feeling safe at home when the world is uncertain, we all need to work on affirming and stabilizing who we are.

It may not change the world the way we would like it to be, but it will help us to live more firmly in a changing world.


It’s Okay to be Afraid

Whenever change presents itself in your life you might be afraid and that’s okay.

Afraid is defined as:

  • feeling fear or anxiety; frightened
  • worried that something undesirable will occur or be done
  • unwilling or reluctant to do something for fear of the consequences

When I was little I was afraid of everything. Well, most things. I don’t know where it came from but it was there; all the time. I’ve always hated change and fought it tooth and nail. The thing about me is while I was afraid a lot when I was a kid I constantly put myself in situations that forced me to move through the fear. Like playing softball and being in right field praying for the ball not to come to me. The ball would hit the bat, make its way to me like a heat seeking missile and plop right behind me with my hand still in the air waiting for it to land in my mitt. Mortification aside I didn’t die. I made it through the fear.

I kept doing things that scared me. At the time, I didn’t realize how powerful that never-ending-get-up-and-brush yourself-off attitude was. I just kept on moving forward and through fear. I eventually realized that change and the fear that accompanies it is just part of the process.

A few years ago, after my sister passed away I was seeing a grief counselor and she would say to me in various ways: ‘What are you going to do? She is not coming back. It is what it is.’ She was right: It was what it was. And fighting that truth only lead to more anxiety.

On vacation in Rhode Island, I found a talisman in the form of a bracelet with a charm that says what else: It is what it is. I wear it almost every day. I’ve fully absorbed it into my spirit. Five simple, powerful words that let me know it is okay to be afraid. I’ve added the part about it being okay as long as I move through it to the other side. These five words have also helped lead me to a place of acceptance; some days they work some days they don’t and that is okay. So many things are okay.

Accept that fear will come. Trust that you will figure out how to get over it; either by figuring it out or by finding a guide to help you along the way. Know that the fear will never go away because it is part of the process.

It’s okay to be afraid.

(c) Valerie Lee 2016

Charm It is what it is