When I say Love I mean Real Love, at least what I consider Real Love. We and by we, I mean women have been taught a different story/definition of love. I’m not saying that guys have it all figured out because Lord knows that is so not true. But we girls are taught consciously and most definitely unconsciously at a very early age to dream about that man who will come along and make it all alright. And you better get him to kiss you awake before you are too old. While boys are taught to sow those wild oats before settling down and another plus for them is they can make babies forever. Sidebar: Don’t believe the hype boys.
Unfortunately so many folks, of both genders, have no idea what Love is. Eyes have been clouded and in some cases just plain poked out. The worst part about this thing called Love is: Folks don’t even realize they can drop their old, borrowed ideas/notions/philosophies and make new ones; ones that fit their heart and lives. Life is too short to keep working someone else’s plan and beliefs.
So I guess this is the part where I share what Love is to me – ugh! Rather than say what Love is NOT I will play fair and allow you a peek into my brain and heart. One of my favorite sayings about L-O-V-E goes something like: loving in such a way your partner feels free. I know it sounds real cutesy but imagine if we could do that.
No strangling someone with your love, no making them feel guilty because they owe you their love for some crazy-ass reason, no jealously, no worrying when they walk out the door, not easy but all that stuff I just typed is way too much for me and I do not participate in that kind of behavior aka drama. Sure we all get jealous sometimes but that kind of emotion should NOT be the basis of your relationship. I’ve never thought jealousy was cute. Some people do. Not me.
So to get specific on what Love is to me, here we go: creating a space between two people where each person can be themselves, speak their truths and I don’t mean share all your shit because I have found that most folks mistake sharing all their shit with intimacy, a little FYI: it is not the same; loving someone means wanting the best for your partner – realizing that as they rise, you rise. No holding anyone back.
I believe when you are in love with & love someone you and your love should help them be the best they can be and they should be doing the same for you. Romantic Love is okay but it is not lasting. Romance comes and goes during any relationship so you have to have that Real Love to see you through those times when you are looking at him with your head tilted and asking yourself: Why am I with him? Oh yeah I love him. Real Love him.
In order to get Real Love for another person first and foremost you have to Love yourself. If you can’t do this how can, you love anyone? You have to love your own stuff first.