Whenever change presents itself in your life you might be afraid and that’s okay.
Afraid is defined as:
- feeling fear or anxiety; frightened
- worried that something undesirable will occur or be done
- unwilling or reluctant to do something for fear of the consequences
When I was little I was afraid of everything. Well, most things. I don’t know where it came from but it was there; all the time. I’ve always hated change and fought it tooth and nail. The thing about me is while I was afraid a lot when I was a kid I constantly put myself in situations that forced me to move through the fear. Like playing softball and being in right field praying for the ball not to come to me. The ball would hit the bat, make its way to me like a heat seeking missile and plop right behind me with my hand still in the air waiting for it to land in my mitt. Mortification aside I didn’t die. I made it through the fear.
I kept doing things that scared me. At the time, I didn’t realize how powerful that never-ending-get-up-and-brush yourself-off attitude was. I just kept on moving forward and through fear. I eventually realized that change and the fear that accompanies it is just part of the process.
A few years ago, after my sister passed away I was seeing a grief counselor and she would say to me in various ways: ‘What are you going to do? She is not coming back. It is what it is.’ She was right: It was what it was. And fighting that truth only lead to more anxiety.
On vacation in Rhode Island, I found a talisman in the form of a bracelet with a charm that says what else: It is what it is. I wear it almost every day. I’ve fully absorbed it into my spirit. Five simple, powerful words that let me know it is okay to be afraid. I’ve added the part about it being okay as long as I move through it to the other side. These five words have also helped lead me to a place of acceptance; some days they work some days they don’t and that is okay. So many things are okay.
Accept that fear will come. Trust that you will figure out how to get over it; either by figuring it out or by finding a guide to help you along the way. Know that the fear will never go away because it is part of the process.
It’s okay to be afraid.
(c) Valerie Lee 2016
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